First and foremost I must say that what I'm about to write is strictly my opinion on the information I've found... I encourage you to do your own research and make an informed and educated decision on what products you choose to use.

I am...or I should say "was"... a buyer of California Baby products and have been since my son was born two years ago... I made the choice to buy their products because they offered body wash and lotions made with minimal ingredients non of which included chemicals.  Today I found out through a chat room that California Baby has changed their ingredients to include sodium benzoate & glucoonolactone.  According to consumers... babies are breaking out into welts and rashes and didn't understand until they discovered the change in ingredients.

Now you may look at those ingredients and say to yourself... I'm fine with that.  And that's perfectly okay.  My point is I just want you to be INFORMED.  And even if the ingredients don't sound that bad... the real test is whether or not the child will have an adverse reaction.  Most of the time... when a parent is buying California Baby products it is because their baby's skin is very sensitive like my son's.... and I personally am not willing to test it out on him.  The more we educate ourselves the safer our children are.

Other Magickal Happenings
Made From Scratch

My son was born a little over two years ago by cesarean section.  It was unplanned and something I was hoping didn't have to happen but it turns out for multiple reason it was EXTREMELY necessary.  Not only was he turned the wrong way, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his abdomen.  They got him out and aside from a not so memorable recovery moment of the epidural wearing off a bit too soon, we both were healthy and happy. 

The first weeks and months of our new life were incredible... but even still something was lacking.  For whatever reason, I as a mother was not feeling that bond... that melts your heart, can't even stand it, you want ten more, feeling was non-existent I'm ashamed to say.  Of course I loved him, and of course I'd do anything in my power to protect him.  However when I heard other mothers speak of that magical feeling... I could not relate.  It made me feel guilty... I felt like I wasn't "meant" to be a mother if I wasn't pouring out tears of happiness just by looking at our new little bundle of joy.  This went on I'm sad to say for a while... I nursed him, bathed him, took very good care of him... all the things a good mother does, but along with it came resentment and thoughts like "What was I thinking?!". 

Wow... crazy personal, not ever spoken out loud kind of feelings I'm sharing with you here huh?  Why you ask?  Because here I am over two years later... with this beautiful aching pull in my heart, every moment of every single day due to none other than that same little bundle of joy who has now become a slightly bigger yet still tiny stumbling bundle of joy.  Everything from his curly hair, to his expressions, to his imagination, to his voice, his singing, his words and sentences, his sign language, his tears, his laughter, his scent, his teeth... the list goes on and on.  This is my son... and I am his mother... and nothing on this beautiful green earth makes me smile or gives me more pride than he does... and just in case one of you out there is a new mama having these same feelings that I did... all I want to say is... Just wait and see.

I'm not saying it'll take two years... what I'm saying is that out of nowhere... the magick will hit you.  One day you'll be looking at that beautiful tiny human that YOU created... and you'll fall in love.  Just wait and see.

Other Magickal Happenings
Simple Homemade Makeup Remover

Okay so it's quite late and we all have an early wake up tomorrow so I must turn in soon... but I wanted to share an awesome mama idea that I heard from my mommy's group tonight. 

Have you ever found yourself in the middle... or even the beginning.... of an important phone call when your little one, out of nowhere, starts throwing a fit and begging for your attention?  Well tonight someone shared with us that her friend keeps a small container of never before or rarely seen toys hidden away on top of the fridge... and when it's time to take or make an important phone call... out come the new and exciting toys to keep your child's attention!!  This could be used in so many different areas and be of such a great help!!  I just had to share!!

Night night for now!  Tomorrow I think I'll head to the dollar store for our bucket full of special toys!

So lately my almost two year old has been on a major food strike.  It is so incredibly discouraging when our children won't eat isn't it?  Who knew getting our babies to eat would be one of the most challenging parts of raising kids.  I certainly didn't.  And then there's the added stress of making sure what they do eat is healthy! 

My son's diet currently consists of bread, beans, waffles, peanut butter, and cheese quesadillas.... and no I can't hide things in the quesadilla because somehow, and don't ask me how, but somehow he will know, he will inspect the quesadilla and refuse to eat it if there is ANYTHING other than cheese in between those tortillas.  Granted, all of those things are whole grain and organic where I can make it happen.  And I must admit... He does occasionally get his McDonald's french fries because I do not believe on being on the extreme side of anything and a treat every now and then is okay to us.  But there's not a single veggie that I can get him to eat or even a piece of fruit.

This morning I hit bottom on my discouragement scale.  He spit out and refused the eggs that he was eating so well every morning for the past few months.  Eggs were my savior... the "incredible edible egg" was always something I could turn to and it was delicious and nutritious for my boy.  If he didn't eat anything all day but eggs I was still satisfied.  But as of this morning eggs no longer make the cut and I was practically in tears.  I messaged my group of mom friends, revealing I was in complete distress and at a loss of what to do.  The sweet women that they are, all assured me that this is completely normal, common and by no means any fault of mine.  And they are right!  It's only my love and concern for my son and his health that makes this such a difficult thing to deal with.  I provide him with all the love I possibly can and with a wonderful loving, supportive environment to thrive and grow in. 

This is definitely not the end of the world and although I am anxious for the day where my son eats and enjoys a well balanced and delicious meal... or heck even his mama's spaghetti... For now I will be patient and I will just keep trying.  As soon as I'm done typing this I'm thinking of making a fruit AND veggie smoothie and see where that takes us!  My main reason for writing out my feelings today about this topic is so that any other mama's out there who are experiencing this or perhaps are about to embark on "solids" with their little one's... can be reminded that this is all simply just a phase, although it may last a while, and to not lose faith and that being concerned just means you are a great mom.  Be patient and keep trying.  We will all get to the point in our babies lives where they won't be babies anymore and we'll be wondering where in the world they are putting all the food that you swore you just bought.

My husband has been making some over night trips here and there, so my little monster and I have been spending a lot of quality time together recently... Just him and I.  He is growing so fast and he is soaking up absolutely everything around him.  I couldn't be more proud of him... He's beginning to form sentences that just melt my heart like "No phone mommy!" and "No bness mommy! No bness!" which is his version of No Business.... which is what I tell him I'm doing when I'm doing important things like budgeting or I don't know... ahem... blogging... ahem.  Of course when he does this my heart goes pitty pat and I stop whatever I'm doing and scoop him up into my arms and give him tickle kisses. 

The time when my husband and I agreed we would start trying for our second is quickly coming upon us and I have to admit I am wishing the clock would stop.  So much of my heart feels like why... when my monster and I are in perfect harmony... would we do something to change that?  I ache a bit on the inside when I think of another baby coming in and taking away these precious moments my son and I share together.  But when I give it a moment... I realize... there's so much love overflowing from both my son's and my hearts... why wouldn't we share it with another?

My little man is so incredibly smart, I can see him teaching his baby sibling all that he knows and being so incredibly helpful.  I can see him showering his baby sibling with not only love but kisses, lessons, and advice.  In fact when I see what he has to offer, it's then that I think to myself... how could I not give this son of mine a brother or a sister.  He was born to be a big brother... he has all the makings of the smart, strong, protective and loving older brother that so many who never had one wish they did.

I also realized that all that overflowing love I have felt for my son is being locked up and treasured... waiting to be released so that it can shower over our next child who will be loved just as much.  For that is what a mother's heart is made out of... endless magickal love for ALL her children.